Life as a College Graduate

Going through graduation was a bit surreal to be honest.

Suddenly, four years of studying, late nights, new friends, laughter, stress, credits, classes, and copious amounts of coffee came together into one moment.

30 seconds to walk across the stage, shake a couple hands, and return to my seat, a graduate of Iowa State University. Somehow, I didn't believe it then. And I almost don't believe it now.

Maybe it's because I'm still in Ames for the summer, finishing up my second degree by completing an internship with Preservation Iowa. Maybe it's because I still get to see some of my friends, that I haven't had the 'final' goodbye see you later yet (though it's coming at the end of July). Maybe it's because I haven't gotten my diploma in the mail. Maybe it's because I haven't recieved my license from the state yet. Maybe it's because I'm still searching for a job in the fall.

I'm on the edge of entering the 'real world' for real, but I'm still teetering on the edge of the cliff, waiting for something (or someone) to push me over the edge, or to finally have the courage to fall of my own accord.



Don't get me wrong - I'm totally stoked to be a graduate. 

 See? 

Getting out into the 'real world' is as exciting as it is scary, and I do think I will be successful. It's just the fear of the unknown that has often clouded my spontaneity setting in again, zapping my confidence and making me long for summers back home when I was a child, when life was simpler.


Thankfully, I am still able to return home from time to time to recharge my spirits on the freedom of just being at home. And in going home, in talking with my mother, my father, even my sister (via skype), in seeing my friends and their current stance on life convinces me that I can succeed. I will find an place to start my life as a graduate. And coming to this realization requires me to stop planning.

Not that I'm a long term planner - I have no 5 year plan, no absolute 'must do' list in my life. I just find comfort in knowing where things are going. Spontaneity is wonderful and crazy, but I only thrive on that in short bursts. Long term - I need a plan, an understanding of where things are going. I keep telling myself that wherever I get my first job is NOT necessarily where I will be the rest of my life. Rather, it's the first step in a series steps to help me continue to grow into the person I'm meant to be.

But the beautiful thing about this life is that it is spontaneous. It's supposed to be full of surprises, those unexpected twists and turns that bring the highest highs (and lowest lows) that make life beautiful. And the only way to fully and completely receive the beautiful life to relinquish total control. Like a lot of other people, I like to have control of my life, of the places I go, the things I do, etc. I feel comfortable when I'm in control. Yet, having this control means I'm limiting myself, closing myself off from opportunities that might be the perfect avenue for my new life.

"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me"

~ Philippians 4:13 

One of my friends from Girl's Camp gave me a bracelet with this scripture written on it. It's one of the few things I never take off. Instead, it stays on my left wrist as a constant reminder that even when I'm not in control, I can still "do all things."

I don't know where I'll be when I leave Ames at the end of July, if I'll have a full time job, if I'll be living back at home and substitute teaching, if I'll be traveling many miles to a completely new and unthoughtof opportunity. But that's the beauty of life, right? The mystery, the suspense, the unknown that eventually brings us to our rightful home.

 

Westminster Cathedral

After being up too late last night (ok, not TOO late, but later...), I relished the opportunity to sleep in this morning and relax after I woke up. I finished my blog post from Saturday, and spent the rest of the early afternoon working on classwork  or relaxing.

Around 5:30, Jen and I headed to Westminster Cathedral, to catch the evening mass at 7. Now, most people know about Westminster Abbey, but Westminster Cathedral is also an amazing sight to behold.

Nestled in between several city buildings, the cathedral doesn't drawn near the crowd the Abbey does, which was relatively nice for a tourist who doesn't like big crowds (like me!)

I didn't take pictures inside the cathedral, both out of respect for those who came to pray, and so I didn't appear to be a crazy tourist. But, I did some research on the internet and picked out a couple pictures that show how magnificent the cathedral is on the interior.

 The seating within the church is incredible and expansive.

 These pictures don't do the cathedral justice, especially since they're a little blurry.

It's difficult to describe the awesome power of the cathedral. The ceilings are incredibly tall, and the small chapels to both sides are beautiful and serene. I'm having trouble coming up with ways to describe how spectacular and splendid the entire experience was.

The mass was also a very unique experience. Instead of singing, the entire mass was spoken, and a couple parts were said in Latin, but what amazed me throughout the service was the constant echo. At first it was extremely distracting, but after a little while, my ears grew more accustomed to it and it was not near as distracting. I would love to come back to hear a mass that is sung, as I'm sure the sounds would be interesting and beautiful to hear.

The cathedral is definitely on the list to visit with Mom, so get ready Mommy dearest!

Blessings

Just a short note to conclude today. . .

It's amazing how much love can be found in one community. Tonight was NS's Got Talent, a benefit for the David Kintigh, who's in his second battle against cancer. At least 30 acts performed throughout the evening, which also included a silent auction, bake sale, white elephant sale, and 50-50 raffle.

Stacie and David Kintigh

When Stacie, my beloved speech coach from NS and David's husband, got up to thank the audience and organizers of the events, she mentioned how this event wouldn't have happened if the NS community hadn't been as giving, prayerful, or loving as it is. She thanked God for bringing her home to our community, and I couldn't agree more.

One particular performance touched me, both in relation to the Kintighs, but also personally. I feel like the lyrics to the song "Blessing" are important for anyone facing struggles or trials. Hard as it may be, perhaps God has a greater plan.

So, while I continue to pray for David's health, for the health of my Aunt Veronica, and for those who are also struggling with cancer, I'll remember this song's lyrics, and think of them when I face my own struggles. 

May God bless and keep everyone tonight, tomorrow, and in all future endeavors. And remember to ask yourself:

What if your blessings come through raindrops?

What if your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this night, are Your mercies in disguise?